I just found out one of my closest friends has decided to do the gay thing for a while. She texts me this and my reaction was weird. I got angry! Do I dislike gay people, no. I have no problem with that. Am I in love with her? No, not that way. So, why was my reaction anger? I'm still pondering this myself. My reply was I feel like I've lost my best friend. First of all, I had a feeling something weird was going on. They were spending a lot of time together, but the first red flag was that she was lying about who she was with. Sometimes, she would confess. I lied to you, I was really hanging out with ______. Why would someone need to lie about hanging out with a friend? That's just weird. Then more recently, we went to a party and the two of them rode together and left together, but still my friend seemed so distant. Her "friend" was watching us like a hawk, which I thought was weird because they've only been friends a few months and we've been friends for a few years now.
Maybe I am a little jealous. How is she going to find time to spend with me when she's off doing here secret gay thing? Why did she hide it so long? I'm not judgemental in that way to my friends. I think that a friend is someone who loves you no matter what. I'm getting over the anger thing now, but today I feel something different - Hurt. I can't talk about to anyone because I want to protect her identity. I just had to get it off my chest. I'm hurt and lonely and I want my friend back. I just don't understand why I feel this way when I've seen her with guys and it's never bothered me. What makes this different?
Friday, May 16, 2008
Lesbian Legends
Posted by TTownDiva at 4:44 PM
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2 comments:
oh no! The dynamics of some friendships can be so fucking exhausting. Oh wait...did I just say fuck?
Hugs to you, sister.
You know i had a few friends in school that sis the "Gay Thing" and I actually felt a lil weird around them... like are they going to hit on me when they are drunk or maybe try to hug me and feel something different. But you just get use to it and treat them like any other friend. I understand that you would feel hurt because she was hiding it from you. Freindships are about being honest and trusting. So shame on her for not telling you in the first place. But i see how much she means to you just in the short blog on this subject so let it go and just go on without getting to dramatized about it .. that was my mistake.. i actually lost a good friend to this.. but the thing is she really did hit on me and i did not know how to react but angry. So be thankful this has not happened yet!!!
Misty
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