A Diva Must Never Show Her Underwear in Public

I have really bad luck with my undergarments. Particularly when there is a bag around, somehow my undergarments will find their way in there as if they are trying to humiliate me. Let me explain, rewind 10 years ago I'm taking a Psychology class with my boyfriend (future ex-husband) and he goes to pull out a book and my bra is hanging from it. I'm so embarrassed. Fast forward a few more years. I'm sitting at my ex husband's parents house and we are all gathered around on Christmas morning when a pair of panties drop out of my jeans. You know when you take them off as a single unit, but then decide the pants are still good, but the panties are changed daily. Please tell me you have all done this! The sad thing is it also happened to me at my family's house. My aunt asked, "What is that," pointing to something peaking out of my jeans. Again, Panties!
So, it has been a few years and I'm thinking I have finally solved the Panty Problem. I spoke to soon. I'm in my manager training program right now, so I lug a bookbag to work everyday. Yes, a bookbag. I should have known better. Somebody asks me a question which I do not know the answer to, so I reach in to my bookbag and to my horror there's my newest Victoria Secret black lace bra just hanging out! What's even worse is I forgot about it and my boyfriend was getting my day planner out for me and finds it. I explain I have no idea how it ended up there. If I were him I don't think I would believe me either, but it really does happen. I have proof. Lots of proof.

Memorial Day Tribute For My Dad

As you all know today is Memorial Day. I always try to do something for my dad on Memorial Day. His life was cut short by Multiple Sclerosis on March 21st about 8 years ago. My mother has this shed FULL of stuff from when they lived in their old house and was trying to figure out to do with all this stuff. I saw a peice of paper with his handwriting on it and this was a poem he had written about his memories of the Veitnam War:

Up before six every morn;

Feeling ever so forlorn,

Hating yourself forever being born

All for a golden bar!

Run a mile for your chow

Wiping sweat from your brow,

Never able to crack a smile

All for a golden bar!

Carry a rifle at port arms,

Respond to even the slightest alarms,

For six months miss her tender charms

All for a golden bar!

Head for Veitnam, one and all,

Never knowing when you'll fall.

Heeding always duty's call

All for a golden bar!

I love you daddy. I would do anything to see your face again here on earth. RIP.

Breakfast Traditions

For the past year my sister and her family have started a tradition that is better than Christmas and Thanksgiving put together. Almost every Saturday or Sunday we have them over for breakfast. They bring delicious Starbucks and I fry up eggs, bacon, biscuits, pancakes or whatever I have in the cupboard that day. We sit and talk and catch up on the last week and talk about how much my two year old nephew is growing. I get to hear all his new words and see his beautiful smile when he walks in the door and shouts, "Hi Auntie, Miha, Kevo!" I know what you are thinking, Better than Christmas, are you sure? Yes, and I'll tell you why. There's absolutely no stress involved. Just quality time with my family and the best part is there are 52 opportunities to have our little breakfast get togethers. If you don't have any family in town, start it with your closest friends. Just do it. You will make memories you will treasure forever, and it is a great way to spend your weekend mornings.

Daytime TV

I have to vent about daytime TV and how bad it can be. The other day I had the pleasure of staying home, and when I do that I catch up on all my shows I have Tivo'd during the week. I tend to get busy cleaning and will let the show finish and it will default back to whatever channel it was on. So, I'm cleaning and I hear Jerry Springer come on, but I am really busy cleaning, so I allow it to stay on until I can't stand it anymore and I have to run in there and start another one of my shows. Later on that day I saw Maury. Now years ago Maury wasn't that bad, but it seems like he gets worse every year. I just have to say, why do people still watch these? They are trash. My favorite thing to do is check out the audience. Watch Ellen, thank God for Ellen I love her, or Oprah and then watch Maury and look at the audience. Hmmmm I wonder who watches this stuff.

Customer Complaints-This is Only the Beginning

The other day I set out to visit a table with a complaint. I approach the table, "Hello, My name is Sara and I'm a manager here, how can I help you?"


"I found a piece of bacon in my salsa," she complains with her mouth full of food. "My husband and I were celebrating and I am so grossed out I can't even eat." She is still eating. I look at the plates and I notice the two of them have shared a meal. They have ribs, shrimp, veggies, and our famous "loaded" mashed potatoes. Now you don't have to eat at my restaurant to understand that "loaded" means piled high with cheese, parsley and bacon. Yes, bacon. As she is complaining the only thing she is eating is her loaded mashed potatoes covered in bacon. She is just too disgusted by the bacon to eat her ribs and shrimp. The only thing she can muster up the courage to eat is her bacon covered mashed potatoes! I try to explain to her that the bacon is kept above the salsa, and that they cut up the bacon fresh, so one piece could have easily fallen in, but she wouldn't hear it. So a stupid piece of bacon, which she liked anyways, cost me $20 in comps.

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Lesbian Legends II

And the drama continues...
So the other night when we went to Mayfest my friend swore to me that she would FINALLY spend some time with me and not bring her "friend" along. I wouldn't normally mind but her "friend" and I aren't exactly hitting it off. The whole time she was texting her and not paying any attention to what was going on around her. When the coast was clear, she headed down the street to find her. After telling me that she wouldn't come up to us before because I was there, you can imagine I was angry when she came back and brought her with. Maybe this was a failed attempt to get us to be friends, but it just made me more mad. I really needed this one night to clear the air so we could move on. I had a fun night, but deep down still hurting. This sucks. I know we will get through, because that's what best friends do, right?

Cake Confusion

So I have a little tradition that I make these homemade cakes for my boyfriend on his birthday. He make me the cutest little homemade cards all year long with little cartoon character versions of me and "the kids" as we call them. Our "kids" consist of my twelve year old cat, Simba and our recently adopted Boston Terrier, Miha. I can't draw very well, but I'm an alright cook. Last year I made him a lemon chiffon cake with strawberries as well as a pineppale upside down cake. He doesn't like chocolate, so strawberries are pretty and tasty.

This year I decided to make a very Strawberry cake. I worked on it for about three and a half hours. I hand dipped strawberries in melted white chocolate and hand shaved little white chocolate shavings all over the top in my attempt to make it pretty. I handmade the frosting from fresh strawberries and everything. A couple of problems here. One the frosting sagged a little big. So it looks a little drippy in places. The other is it turned out a little dry. Although, that hasn't stopped me from sneaking into the kitchen and eating the cake straight off the cake plate, I need to know what the secret is to make a cake moist. As I'm nearing my thirties I've learned that women can be amazing support systems for each other. Whether it is, how do I get my laundry to smell better or how do I save my marriage, women have this beautiful way of helping each other out. So please ladies, help me and my dry cakes.

Good Samaritans Still Exist

I have to tell you that there are still good people out there. After a long night of drinking and having a good time at Mayfest for my boyfriend's birthday, we got in the car and headed back across town to go home. I'm driving along the highway and suddenly my car starts pulling really hard. I start screaming, "Oh my God! Oh my God! I'm having a blowout! Oh my God."
Kevin, my boyfriend who is always pretty calm, "Are you sure?"
"Yes I'm sure! What do I do? Oh my God what do I do? Kevin!! There's nowhere to pull over!" I'm basically panicked now.
It happened at one of the worst spots. I was switching highways, so it was a long skinny road. I end up pulling over and we get out and start attempting to change the tire, but can not get the car to jack up. At this point I'm so scared I'm going to get a DUI if a cop decides to pull in behind to help us. I felt okay, but if I had to take a breathalyzer probably wouldn't have passed. I'm basically taking it out on Kevin at this point, "Kevin do you want me to get a DUI?" My boyfriend is not mechanically inclined, bless his little heart, but I have to admit I do get frustrated about it. I can't help it. I have three brothers and was raised by a very manly dad, I was taught men fix stuff.
"No baby, of course not," he replies.
"Well then get this thing jacked up," I say irritably.
We are on the verge of a fight and some guy in his early twenties pulls in behind us and says, "Need some help?"
"Oh thank you, yes!" I'm so happy someone has come to rescue us and stop my from choking my poor unsuspecting boyfriend. He gets the thing done in about five minutes. The whole time I am freaking out because there are cockroaches the size of small mice crawling all over the sidewalk and I am terrified. I tell him about three times, "You are a God send!"
"Oh, I wouldn't go that far," he says.
I just want to tell anyone who still does nice things for people, like opening the door for someone when their hands are full, letting someone go first in the grocery line when they don't have much and you do, picking something up for someone when they drop it, giving someone a ride when they run out of gas - YOU ARE AMAZING! I had to rescue some of my drunk friends on Cinco De Mayo and I was happy to do it. They were stranded for a few hours before they called me. We had them back on the road within thirty minutes. It felt good to know I was helping my friends and they felt like they could depend on me. I didn't do it expecting anything in return. I'm convinced Karma really does exist. So next time you see someone in a jam, just remember, next time that could be you!

Lesbian Legends

I just found out one of my closest friends has decided to do the gay thing for a while. She texts me this and my reaction was weird. I got angry! Do I dislike gay people, no. I have no problem with that. Am I in love with her? No, not that way. So, why was my reaction anger? I'm still pondering this myself. My reply was I feel like I've lost my best friend. First of all, I had a feeling something weird was going on. They were spending a lot of time together, but the first red flag was that she was lying about who she was with. Sometimes, she would confess. I lied to you, I was really hanging out with ______. Why would someone need to lie about hanging out with a friend? That's just weird. Then more recently, we went to a party and the two of them rode together and left together, but still my friend seemed so distant. Her "friend" was watching us like a hawk, which I thought was weird because they've only been friends a few months and we've been friends for a few years now.
Maybe I am a little jealous. How is she going to find time to spend with me when she's off doing here secret gay thing? Why did she hide it so long? I'm not judgemental in that way to my friends. I think that a friend is someone who loves you no matter what. I'm getting over the anger thing now, but today I feel something different - Hurt. I can't talk about to anyone because I want to protect her identity. I just had to get it off my chest. I'm hurt and lonely and I want my friend back. I just don't understand why I feel this way when I've seen her with guys and it's never bothered me. What makes this different?

Underwater Restaurant

Did you know that there's an underwater restaurant? I was looking for some pictures and accidentally came across these.

At first I thought these people were insane putting this little tube in the water for people to eat at. I can't even imagine running late for work but having to put my scuba gear on before I could go in.

Then I saw this beautiful picture and I got it. I want to go to this crazy insane tube in the water now.

I love this last picture the most. Does he have his arms crossed? Is he mad that his wife drug him to this underwater tube to eat dinner? I wonder if they serve fish. Becuase that would just feel weird to me. If you want to read more about it you can go here http://www.been-seen.com/article.cfm?id=10231. I just thought I would share.