Did She Just.....?

Table visits. Oh how I love them. I just get so excited every time I hear the words, "I think they're pretty mad, you should go talk to them." If I had a tail it would tuck itself in between my legs as I slowly and reluctantly take the long steps to the mad guests who are dining in my restaurant. I've been cussed at, had things thrown at me, banned from tables and soooo much more. So, today the server tells me, "She's a sweet old lady, but she just isn't happy. She won't eat her food." At first I'm thinking thank goodness she's a sweet old lady. I approach the table, "Hello ladies! How is every thing tasting today?"

Mean Old Lady's friend: She doesn't like her food.

Me: I'm sorry. Can I get you something else?

Mean Old Lady: No.

Me: What's wrong with your food ma'm? (I have to ask these kinds of questions so that I can fix it or prevent it from happening more)

Mean Old Lady: I'm from out of town and I usually go to the Chili's there, and this just doesn't taste right. I DON'T want to talk about it!

Me: Ok, well can I just get you something else?

Mean Old Lady: I said I don't want to talk about it!!!! Now just go away!

While saying this she raises her hand, faces her palm towards me and waves her hand from side to side. And you wonder why I drink.

I Can Hear You!

This commercial always makes me die laughing. I can't help but picture somebody actually wearing this around. For all of you out there who need some spy tools this is for you. Watch and laugh my friend.

https://www.silversonicxl.com

Not-So-Diva Budget Days...Continued

I've decided to make this a series, I participate in the fun on a tight budget game at least once a week, so I will probably always have material. This weekend I really wanted to have some fun and not spend a lot of money.
Friday Night. Have what I like to call my "Leftover Liquor Party" Have all your friends bring over their bottles of liquor with only a little bit of liquor left in them and mix and match. See how many creative concoctions you can come up with and drink away. If you're lucky they will leave some bottles at your place and Blam! You just scored yourself some free booze. Worried about entertainment? Once again break out the board games. Also, we borrowed Desperate Housewives Season 3 from someone. That's 6 DVD's of entertainment for free. Plus, the show is Amazing! Hungry? No problem. Papa Johns remembers your credit card information online. Surely one of your friends is going through a divorce. Use her soon to be ex-husband's Papa John's account and order up!
Money Spent: $0 (free booze and pizza!)
Saturday Night. Stay home and relax and make yourself some new CD's of your downloaded music, or in my case, have someone bring you a Flash drive loaded with 3 GB of tunes.
Money Spent: $0 (I'm not sure how much 3 GB of tunes is worth, but I'd say a lot)
Sunday Morning: Ok. Time to repent of all the drinking, using soon to be ex-husbands credit cards, and possessing illegally obtained music and head to church. So, your sitting there in church and here comes that offering bucket. Oh no! Don't panic. Here's what you're gonna do. First, pretend like you don't realize it's coming. When it gets about two people down from you start scrambling for your purse. Look like you are REALLY trying to hurry and grab that cash, fidget around like you can't find that $20 bill, maybe even mumble, "Where did I put that $20? I just had it!" Then just pass that bucket right along. I like to let out a sigh here for dramatic emphasis. I really wanted to put that $20 in there!
Money Spent: $0 (you just enjoyed a live concert and speaker for free!)

How to Be a Diva on a Tight Budget

Times are tough, but a true Diva must always be able to play like a Diva. I've come up with a few tips, based on my experiences on how one can still have fun on a not so Diva budget.

1. Have a friend who has access to company bought tickets. In my case it was hockey tickets. They were even located right behind all the players, so we were right in the middle of all the auction. Two things must be done to make this an even better experience. Invite your cute nephew who thinks the goalee's are Transformers and your sister to help you make fun of all the crazy people, and sneak left over candy from Halloween.

Money Spent: $0

2. While at the free hockey game take advantage of the people passing out free $10 coupons to use at the nearby casino. The next day find a friend and head to the casino. Another very important thing to observe here. Most casinos have a Ladies' Night where you get $10 to play on just for showing up. Play the nickel machines on that $20 until you are in the positive and walk away ladies. Do enjoy free drinks provided by the casino while you are racking up those bucks.

Money Spent:-$7. That's right ladies. I made $7 while having a great time.

3. Don't throw away those coupons Victoria's Secret sends in the mail for free panties, because after a long morning at the Casino, shopping sounds fun. Take your coupon and head to Victoria's Secret. Freshen up your make up and get rid of the casino smell with all of their fun samples and make your self look beautiful. Next head over to the panties and grab your free pair. Not only do you get to walk away with free panties, but you also get to walk around the mall with an adorable pink bag with a perfectly tied little pink ribbon to remind people you aren't just at the mall to look. You could totally buy $7.50 panties, if you felt like it.

Money Spent: -$7.50. That's right ladies. I just made more money.

4. So you and your friend (a cute boy if you can find one) are hungry from all that shopping and are starving. You're smelling beautiful and all dolled up from the "play with me" items at Victoria's Secret. Take the money you earned at the casino and pair it with the money your friend made at the casino. Stop by Wal-Mart for your favorite $5 pizza. Also stop at the liquor store and split a six pack of beer. We chose the around-the-world option so we could both get what we wanted. Head home and stick the pizza in the oven, drink your beer and get out those board games.

Money Spent: $6.50 (used casino earnings)

So, there you have it ladies. An entire Diva day on a not-so-Diva budget. If you have any other ideas, I would love to hear them!

Chub Tub

Ok, it's time to face the facts. I've put on a few pounds and the Holidays aren't even here yet. My tummy is constantly sticking out more than I would like to admit. I think I noticed it when I went to take a diuretic to get rid of the pooch and nothing happened. I'm looking for advice. I don't care whether it's work out tips, a liquid diet or eating nothing but green beans, I want know what you have tried that has worked for you. Please help. I realize that eating raw cupcake dough like I am in this picture with my nephew is a no no, but I couldn't rob my nephew of this experience on his birthday! I also wanted to give you a visual of the pooch so you will be inspired to help me.

Wrapped

I devoted my entire day today to my little nephew James. I must say the kid has got me wrapped around his pinky. I took him to see Wall-E (I think this was his fifth time). He's at that age where it doesn't matter what he says it's the cutest thing ever when it comes out of his mouth. He spoke softly in the sweetest voice the whole time we were on our movie "date", so sweet that even people around us were ooohing and aaahing at how precious this little boy is. Then he sat on my lap for all except maybe fifteen minutes of the entire movie. After the movie I take him back to my sister's where he not only uses the big boy potty, but right in the middle says, "Auntie can I have a sticker?" Then he says, "Okay, now it's your turn and you can have a sticker!" So I play hide and seek with him, but when I decide to leave he says, "Now you hide auntie. I want to find YOU auntie." I tell him, "Okay, just one more time" (for a few more times). My sister is laughing hysterically, "You can't say the word No to him." She's right. I beat around the bush, I distract him away from the subject, anything to keep from looking this adorable little two years old who's "birthday is coming up" as he says and holds out his pointer finger, ring finger and pinky finger, "I'm going to be three (free)" and tell him no. I just can't do it.

Vacation Days

(My aunt's painting of the Canada Bay)
Yippee! It's that time of year when I get to take a vacation. Unfortunately I don't have the funds to really do anything amazing, so I have decided to spend my days at home. By the time my vacation is over I expect that my home will be spotless and I will most likely be refreshed, but also bored out of my mind. I require much entertainment. To start my week off I spent two days at Oktoberfest which was a lot of fun. Today I spent my day getting some exercise, but also working on a puzzle which I have not done for years, but I used to do them all the time when I spent my summers in Canada as a little girl. I remember my Great Grandma would sit in the cabin and eat freshly grown tomatoes sprinkled with salt. We would talk about how wonderful the tomatoes tasted, but when we started working on the puzzle, we wouldn't speak much. Instead, we would watch as the boats would come in and out of the calm bay to do some bass fishing, or as the beautifully colored Hummingbirds would sip from the red colored sugar water she had made. If I was lucky that day we would get to go blueberry picking and I would find a soft moss bed to lie down in and feel the coolness of the moss against my back. It's my vacation. Since the cabin is such a distant memory, I want to remember what a real vacation feels like. No phones, minimal TV just my Great Grandma, my puzzle and me.