Not-So-Diva Budget Days...Continued

I've decided to make this a series, I participate in the fun on a tight budget game at least once a week, so I will probably always have material. This weekend I really wanted to have some fun and not spend a lot of money.
Friday Night. Have what I like to call my "Leftover Liquor Party" Have all your friends bring over their bottles of liquor with only a little bit of liquor left in them and mix and match. See how many creative concoctions you can come up with and drink away. If you're lucky they will leave some bottles at your place and Blam! You just scored yourself some free booze. Worried about entertainment? Once again break out the board games. Also, we borrowed Desperate Housewives Season 3 from someone. That's 6 DVD's of entertainment for free. Plus, the show is Amazing! Hungry? No problem. Papa Johns remembers your credit card information online. Surely one of your friends is going through a divorce. Use her soon to be ex-husband's Papa John's account and order up!
Money Spent: $0 (free booze and pizza!)
Saturday Night. Stay home and relax and make yourself some new CD's of your downloaded music, or in my case, have someone bring you a Flash drive loaded with 3 GB of tunes.
Money Spent: $0 (I'm not sure how much 3 GB of tunes is worth, but I'd say a lot)
Sunday Morning: Ok. Time to repent of all the drinking, using soon to be ex-husbands credit cards, and possessing illegally obtained music and head to church. So, your sitting there in church and here comes that offering bucket. Oh no! Don't panic. Here's what you're gonna do. First, pretend like you don't realize it's coming. When it gets about two people down from you start scrambling for your purse. Look like you are REALLY trying to hurry and grab that cash, fidget around like you can't find that $20 bill, maybe even mumble, "Where did I put that $20? I just had it!" Then just pass that bucket right along. I like to let out a sigh here for dramatic emphasis. I really wanted to put that $20 in there!
Money Spent: $0 (you just enjoyed a live concert and speaker for free!)

How to Be a Diva on a Tight Budget

Times are tough, but a true Diva must always be able to play like a Diva. I've come up with a few tips, based on my experiences on how one can still have fun on a not so Diva budget.

1. Have a friend who has access to company bought tickets. In my case it was hockey tickets. They were even located right behind all the players, so we were right in the middle of all the auction. Two things must be done to make this an even better experience. Invite your cute nephew who thinks the goalee's are Transformers and your sister to help you make fun of all the crazy people, and sneak left over candy from Halloween.

Money Spent: $0

2. While at the free hockey game take advantage of the people passing out free $10 coupons to use at the nearby casino. The next day find a friend and head to the casino. Another very important thing to observe here. Most casinos have a Ladies' Night where you get $10 to play on just for showing up. Play the nickel machines on that $20 until you are in the positive and walk away ladies. Do enjoy free drinks provided by the casino while you are racking up those bucks.

Money Spent:-$7. That's right ladies. I made $7 while having a great time.

3. Don't throw away those coupons Victoria's Secret sends in the mail for free panties, because after a long morning at the Casino, shopping sounds fun. Take your coupon and head to Victoria's Secret. Freshen up your make up and get rid of the casino smell with all of their fun samples and make your self look beautiful. Next head over to the panties and grab your free pair. Not only do you get to walk away with free panties, but you also get to walk around the mall with an adorable pink bag with a perfectly tied little pink ribbon to remind people you aren't just at the mall to look. You could totally buy $7.50 panties, if you felt like it.

Money Spent: -$7.50. That's right ladies. I just made more money.

4. So you and your friend (a cute boy if you can find one) are hungry from all that shopping and are starving. You're smelling beautiful and all dolled up from the "play with me" items at Victoria's Secret. Take the money you earned at the casino and pair it with the money your friend made at the casino. Stop by Wal-Mart for your favorite $5 pizza. Also stop at the liquor store and split a six pack of beer. We chose the around-the-world option so we could both get what we wanted. Head home and stick the pizza in the oven, drink your beer and get out those board games.

Money Spent: $6.50 (used casino earnings)

So, there you have it ladies. An entire Diva day on a not-so-Diva budget. If you have any other ideas, I would love to hear them!

Chub Tub

Ok, it's time to face the facts. I've put on a few pounds and the Holidays aren't even here yet. My tummy is constantly sticking out more than I would like to admit. I think I noticed it when I went to take a diuretic to get rid of the pooch and nothing happened. I'm looking for advice. I don't care whether it's work out tips, a liquid diet or eating nothing but green beans, I want know what you have tried that has worked for you. Please help. I realize that eating raw cupcake dough like I am in this picture with my nephew is a no no, but I couldn't rob my nephew of this experience on his birthday! I also wanted to give you a visual of the pooch so you will be inspired to help me.

Wrapped

I devoted my entire day today to my little nephew James. I must say the kid has got me wrapped around his pinky. I took him to see Wall-E (I think this was his fifth time). He's at that age where it doesn't matter what he says it's the cutest thing ever when it comes out of his mouth. He spoke softly in the sweetest voice the whole time we were on our movie "date", so sweet that even people around us were ooohing and aaahing at how precious this little boy is. Then he sat on my lap for all except maybe fifteen minutes of the entire movie. After the movie I take him back to my sister's where he not only uses the big boy potty, but right in the middle says, "Auntie can I have a sticker?" Then he says, "Okay, now it's your turn and you can have a sticker!" So I play hide and seek with him, but when I decide to leave he says, "Now you hide auntie. I want to find YOU auntie." I tell him, "Okay, just one more time" (for a few more times). My sister is laughing hysterically, "You can't say the word No to him." She's right. I beat around the bush, I distract him away from the subject, anything to keep from looking this adorable little two years old who's "birthday is coming up" as he says and holds out his pointer finger, ring finger and pinky finger, "I'm going to be three (free)" and tell him no. I just can't do it.

Vacation Days

(My aunt's painting of the Canada Bay)
Yippee! It's that time of year when I get to take a vacation. Unfortunately I don't have the funds to really do anything amazing, so I have decided to spend my days at home. By the time my vacation is over I expect that my home will be spotless and I will most likely be refreshed, but also bored out of my mind. I require much entertainment. To start my week off I spent two days at Oktoberfest which was a lot of fun. Today I spent my day getting some exercise, but also working on a puzzle which I have not done for years, but I used to do them all the time when I spent my summers in Canada as a little girl. I remember my Great Grandma would sit in the cabin and eat freshly grown tomatoes sprinkled with salt. We would talk about how wonderful the tomatoes tasted, but when we started working on the puzzle, we wouldn't speak much. Instead, we would watch as the boats would come in and out of the calm bay to do some bass fishing, or as the beautifully colored Hummingbirds would sip from the red colored sugar water she had made. If I was lucky that day we would get to go blueberry picking and I would find a soft moss bed to lie down in and feel the coolness of the moss against my back. It's my vacation. Since the cabin is such a distant memory, I want to remember what a real vacation feels like. No phones, minimal TV just my Great Grandma, my puzzle and me.

Tulsa State Fair

It's that time of year again folks! It's time for the gathering of mullets, clowns and world's largest rats for the Tulsa State Fair. It's a time when we throw our diets aside and stuff our faces with corndogs, turkey legs, fudge, funnel cakes and yes, even fried snicker bars. We pay $6.00 for 12 ounce beers and walk around and laugh in disbelief that mullets still exist. If you would like more information you can visit http://www.tulsastatefair.com/. More to come!

ABLE Mishaps

Tonight I had to deal with something that most resteraunt managers never really come face to face with...my bartender got hauled away in handcuffs. I'm depressed. Because I have vented and vented and still feel awful, I'm now going to tell you a few reasons why this sucks. First of all, it's cruel. The Bixby police sent an underage girl into my restaurant to carry out a "sting" operation and first hit up one of my servers. She laughed when she saw the girl was born in 1990 and said with a strong Oklahoman accent, "Honey, you're not old enough," and handed the girl's ID back to her. She responded in a bitchy high school girl tone, "Whatever!" and shoved her ID back into her purse. The server (we were EXTREMELY busy) went about going about her business while the underage approached our bartender and attempted the same routine. Now she did ID her, but served her anyway. Do I think she made the connection the girl was underage? No. Absolutely not. The poor girl and her fiance have both decided to take up second jobs on top of their day jobs to pay for their upcoming wedding. They both must work 70 hours a week. The poor girl was probably too tired to do the math. This girl saves people's lives during the day! I feel like I let her down. Did I tell her enough how dangerous not I.D.-ing can be? Did I tell her enough?
It gets worse. While their hauling her off, I notice news crews chasing after her to get their money shot. Really?! You're luring people to do something against the law and then ruining their lives for it! At this moment I hate the po-lice. I don't always, I usually think they're pretty good people, but tonight I do, and blogging is all about being honest, right?

My Random Thoughts

typing from my phone excuse layout.
1. Why do white people speak to Hispanics with a Mexican accent when they are speaking English?
2. How come drunk people in the movies always have such smart lines?
3. Why do people always ask what happened when you tell them you broke up with someone?
4. When will people ever understand how a four way stop really works?
To be continued....

I'm Home!

I'm finally unpacked and getting settled into my new place. My dog and cat are having some issues. It appears that they seem to be getting lonely while I am at work, so they have started a war with each other. The dog ate all of the cats food in his self feeder, then she chewed up his favorite toy and shredded it into tiny little pieces all over the floor. Since the cat didn't have any food, I gave him some treats to tie him over, and the dog ate those too. Only she didn't eat them right away, she waited until I had left the room and gobbled all of them up. The cat is now severely pissed. So, I'm doing laundry and cleaning out my closet when I hear the dog yelp. I call her and check on her, she seems fine, but terrified. I hang up more laundry, I hear the dog yelping again, I turn around to see my cat chasing my dog around the house pawing at her back legs! I think they might be even now. Here's a video of what they look like. Eventhough it's not my dog and cat, you get the picture. Ha ha.

Moving

I have so much I want to write about today. I don't even know where to begin. For the sake of keeping this short, I will write only about my evening. I just spent the entire night going through my ex-boyfriend and my things to determine who will be keeping what. Ten spatulas and 35 forks later, I am left feeling totally exhausted and well, sad. It's never easy to say goodbye to something that was at one time so wonderful. He's asleep and I am sitting here thinking, Oh my God this is really it! I'm not sure what I had imagined our last night being together would be like, but now that I'm actually here in the moment it is much sadder than I had pictured. I think perhaps I had romanticized it in my mind. Maybe in a way I had hoped we'd spend our last hanging out and being friends like we used to be. It's so strange how a house full of so many things can somehow feel so empty.

I will write more soon, but I am going to be moving the next couple of days, and he owns the computer so I'm S.O.L. there. Sniff Sniff. Goodbye my Blogger and Myspace friends. Hold on to the memories and I will miss you while I am wondering around aimlessly without my daily cyber fix.

Bar Flies, Fly Away

I've decided I'm sick of all men that I meet thinking either A. "I need a boyfriend right away, " or B. "I am just looking for a guy to take me home after the bar." One of my good friends had a very valid point which was, "Do you think you will actually find your future husband at the bar?" My answer was clearly, "No." However, when you don't want to go home because you are still living with your ex, or feel pathetic because you are all alone, the bar is a great place to go. I have many subjects on which to touch upon here, but for the sake of keeping it short, I am going to focus on one of the many issues with going to the bar single. My first is going to be this, why do all guys that I talk to think that I want to immediately hang out after the bar? I want a guy who just wants my number so that he can arrange a better time to get to know me as a person. That guy will shake my hand tell me it was nice to meet me and leave it at that. He doesn't invite me to breakfast, or even worse an after party. I am talking about respect here. Respect a woman and she will have respect for you. Don't assume that I am a whore and looking to hook up with random guys at the bar, just because I let you buy me a drink. So guys, save your money at the bar and buy a girl something meaningful like a movie ticket or dinner and get to know her as an individual. You will earn her respect and lay the grounds for a relationship that can truly be prosperous and successful.

Getting Used to the Single Life

So it's been a few weeks and I am starting to miss a few things. I miss going out to dinner, the movies, cuddling on the couch and having an excuse when a guy I am totally not interested in asks me out. I'm not saying I hate it, but it is just strange not having someone to bring to my few and far between engagements. For tonight I have decided to rent the most girly movies I could find and eat fried, not baked, chips, and chocolate while I tear up when the romantic comedies I have decided to torture myself with live happily ever after.

Following My Heart

I haven't written in a while. So much has been happening in my life. I've decided to end my two year relationship to my adoring, kind and caring boyfriend and listen to my heart. I just feel like something in my life is missing and I have to find it before I say "I do" to another. I ignored this voice the first time I got married and I ended up losing everything and having to start my whole life over. And so the stories of the single life will soon begin as I start my newly single life in my own apartment (I'm moving on 28th) and search to find what I'm missing in my life. It hurts like hell, but I know that I am following my heart. "To thine own self be true." I'm sure I will be writing a lot more often when I'm sitting at home on a Friday night eating Chinese take out wondering what the hell I've done and searching for the answer to is it true there's only one soulmate out there for each of us?

Ladies Weekend

So, I've had a rough week. I battled the flu. I've worked my ass off (even went to work WITH the FLU). To top it all off I got in a horrible fight with my boyfriend yesterday. Now he's out of town and I've been feeling down. So here's my plan for tonight. I bought myself a gorgeous pair of high heels, and after spending the evening giving myself a facial and spraying on the glitter and fake tan, I am heading out with the girls for a night of fun. I'm going to forget about my troubles and do some dancing and drinking with the girls who make me laugh until my cheeks and belly ache. Wish me luck!

An Alien Has Taken Over My Body

OK. Don't read this if you are weak stomached, but I was changing my shirt today and looked down. I don't know if the light had hit them just right or if I had just not bothered to look down in a very long time, but my nipples have grown freakishly long hairs on them. Now I've always heard that this is something that is caused by pregnancy. So, since I am not pregnant, nor have I ever been, I thought my nipples were safe. Here's the deal. I quit smoking years ago. I eat healthy. I take vitamins. WTH else do I need to do to keep my body from totally taking on a mind of its own and turning into Bigfoot. And yes, my feet have even grown a size in the last few years. I know your hips get a little wider to prepare you for your childbearing years, but mine have moved to opposite sides of the country. Their going to have to squeeze them together so my children don't get lost on their way down, or slide out so fast they land on the ground. I hear your ears and your nose get bigger too. I already can't pin my hair back because my Kate Hudson ears stick too far out, and I'm already saving for my nose job and now you're telling me that they're going to get even bigger? I just had to share. I hate getting older sometimes. I was talking to a friend of mine today and he was telling me how his ex girlfriend (20) dated a 31 year old and it grossed him out. I was like, "Hello, I'm almost his age! Do you think I'm gross too?"
I just had to get that off my chest, no pun intended. Actually, it kinda was.

Day One

Okay so I've now made it through half of a day with my nephew and so far we've only had a few casualties. I woke this morning to hearing my China break and James saying, "Uh oh Kevo I broke it." Still not sure what the boyfriend was thinking feeding a two year old cheerios out of my late Great Grandmother's China, but at least no one got hurt. That is my main concern. Keep the kid in one piece til his parents get home.
Lessons I've learned today, if you step one Play-Doh it's harder to pick it out of the carpet.
Black men with lisps can still have a rap career, thank you Yo Gabba Gabba for that. "K Kithdz lethz beat bokth together!"
Some Gabba Gabba Fun:

I'm doing WHAT? for how long?

So my sister is leaving for Jamaica tomorrow, or for the purpose of not causing my little nephew great pain, we are going to call it "work". Starting tomorrow I will have a two year old running around my tiny lil apartment with my cat who runs and hides and won't come out until he's gone, and my dog who shakes but loves him anyways, and my boyfriend who forgets all about how old he is when it comes to playing with James. I have to warn you this kid has me so wrapped around his tiny little pinky this ought to be pretty fun, and fun to watch I'm sure. So stay tuned there is more to come, and most importantly wish me luck, pray for me!

30 Questions

1. Favorite Person - Anyone who makes me laugh
2. Favorite Food - Anything pasta and cheesy
3. Quirks about you - I'm very weird about noises. I hate hearing people eat, clipping their toenails, scraping their teeth on their forks. I get goose bumps and I go crazy. No you don't understand. I go CRAZY.
4. How would the person who loves you most describe you in ten words or less? - Strong willed, kind, hard-worker, neat freak, nutty, sarcastic and maybe even funny.
5. Any regrets in life? - Marrying the wrong person :,(
6. Favorite charity/cause - I raise money for St. Judes every year. I'm also interested in helping abused women, children who can't read and MS (my dad died from MS).
7. Favorite Blog - My Sister-in-law Tasha's Housewife Diaries. It makes me feel closer to my family when they are so far away.
8. Something you can't get enough of - Sleep.
9. Worst job you ever had - I worked at a Vet Clinic, and yes Becky we expressed anal glands there. LOL.
10. What job would you pay NOT to have - trash collection. EEEW.
11. If you could be a fly on the wall anywhere, where would it be - in a greenhouse, because I think if I was a fly I would like flowers, wait that's bees. Flies like shit, so maybe a barn somewhere with lots of poo.
12. ***Breaking News: My boss, who I think is awesome, just put in his notice. Sniff sniff.
13. Guilty pleasure - Dessert. I have to have a dessert every night about 9:30. I try to keep low calorie desserts on hand because I know the craving will come.
14. Got any confessions? - Not that I care to confess. I've only voted once. I know. It's awful and I'm ashamed.
15. If you had $1000 to spend on YOURSELF, what would you spend it on - Down payment on my nose job.
16. Favorite thing about your house - I don't have to mow the lawn and it is in the center of everything.
17. Least favorite thing - It floods and I don't own it.
18. One thing you are bad at - apologizing and pda.
19. If you could change one thing about your current circumstances what would it be - I want to own my own house.
20. Who would you like to meet someday - Ellen Degeneres. She makes me laugh everyday and I love her for that.
21. What makes you feel sexy - high heels!
22. Who is your real life hero - my sister.
23. What is the hardest part of your job - not being able to be friends with anybody there and not getting too stressed out when I'm having a rough shift.
24. When are you most relaxed - when I'm laying out by the pool.
25. What stresses you out - money. It's always money.
26. What can you NOT live without - lipgloss. I'm addicted.
27. Do you agree or disagree with the recent article that reported that blogs are authored by narcissists - disagree, but I do also post a lot of pictures on my Myspace.
28. Why do you blog - for fun. As an escape where I can get my feelings out.
29. Who are you tagging - http://floridammama.blogspot.com/
30. What were you doing 10 years ago - Going to college, working 3 jobs to support myself and dating my future ex-husband and some other things I'm not so proud of.

Poolside Encounters with a Four Year Old

(if you see this kid to the left-Mommies hide your snack bags!)

My sister and I decide to have some summer fun and head out to the pool with my nephew to enjoy the beautiful, but windy weather we are having. Being the wonderful mother that she is my sister is armed with ziplock baggies full of snacks, juice boxes, etc to tend to every need that James may have while we are at the pool.

Enter Eli. A four year old who is at the pool with his step-dad and step-dad's friend while they are "sneaking" beer in their Whataburger cups. Eli

has this amazing talent of fitting three questions in just one breath. "What's your name? My name is Eli. What's his name? How old is he?" (finally a breath). Continued by, "Is that what you're going to wear? Where did you get it? Is that your thingy, what is it called? Can I use it? (another breath). I feel awkward telling a four year old I got my swimsuit at Victoria Secret. I laugh when I tell him I got my "floaty" at Target and he asks, "Which Target?"

Anyways, so we are enjoying our snacks after swimming for a while and over walks Eli.

"Oooh grapes!! Can I have some? Can I have some Goldfish? Can I have some Apple juice?"

We let him have some, but to our surprise this isn't just any four year old. This is a STARVING four year old. He is stuffing grapes into his mouth four at a time. He knows how to take them off the vine two at a time! We laughed, but when another parent doesn't step in and take control of their kids, how do you politely tell someone else's kid, "No," without being too offensive. BTW we did try, "No, no honey. These are for James."

ServSafe Nightmares

So part of the requirements for becoming a restaurant manager in my company is taking a course on food safety. The book is 12 chapters long and full of interesting and disgusting facts from what cockroach poop looks like (grains of black pepper) to bacteria that lives in human feces. Gross huh~
I was so disgusted. I learned something interesting about hot dogs. As most women who have already had children know if you get a bacteria from hot dogs it can abort your fetus??? Are you kidding me? This same bacteria can also be found in deli meats. It also can lead to Meningitis in children. So thank you ServSafe. I will never be able to sit down and enjoy a hot dog or sandwich again. Gross. And heaven forbid what I will do if someone spills black pepper on my floor! Another interesting fact is that if your house has an oily smell then cockroaches are present, and if you see one in the daytime that is a true sign that your house is INFESTED!
Good news is I made a 92 on my test!!

A Diva Must Never Show Her Underwear in Public

I have really bad luck with my undergarments. Particularly when there is a bag around, somehow my undergarments will find their way in there as if they are trying to humiliate me. Let me explain, rewind 10 years ago I'm taking a Psychology class with my boyfriend (future ex-husband) and he goes to pull out a book and my bra is hanging from it. I'm so embarrassed. Fast forward a few more years. I'm sitting at my ex husband's parents house and we are all gathered around on Christmas morning when a pair of panties drop out of my jeans. You know when you take them off as a single unit, but then decide the pants are still good, but the panties are changed daily. Please tell me you have all done this! The sad thing is it also happened to me at my family's house. My aunt asked, "What is that," pointing to something peaking out of my jeans. Again, Panties!
So, it has been a few years and I'm thinking I have finally solved the Panty Problem. I spoke to soon. I'm in my manager training program right now, so I lug a bookbag to work everyday. Yes, a bookbag. I should have known better. Somebody asks me a question which I do not know the answer to, so I reach in to my bookbag and to my horror there's my newest Victoria Secret black lace bra just hanging out! What's even worse is I forgot about it and my boyfriend was getting my day planner out for me and finds it. I explain I have no idea how it ended up there. If I were him I don't think I would believe me either, but it really does happen. I have proof. Lots of proof.

Memorial Day Tribute For My Dad

As you all know today is Memorial Day. I always try to do something for my dad on Memorial Day. His life was cut short by Multiple Sclerosis on March 21st about 8 years ago. My mother has this shed FULL of stuff from when they lived in their old house and was trying to figure out to do with all this stuff. I saw a peice of paper with his handwriting on it and this was a poem he had written about his memories of the Veitnam War:

Up before six every morn;

Feeling ever so forlorn,

Hating yourself forever being born

All for a golden bar!

Run a mile for your chow

Wiping sweat from your brow,

Never able to crack a smile

All for a golden bar!

Carry a rifle at port arms,

Respond to even the slightest alarms,

For six months miss her tender charms

All for a golden bar!

Head for Veitnam, one and all,

Never knowing when you'll fall.

Heeding always duty's call

All for a golden bar!

I love you daddy. I would do anything to see your face again here on earth. RIP.

Breakfast Traditions

For the past year my sister and her family have started a tradition that is better than Christmas and Thanksgiving put together. Almost every Saturday or Sunday we have them over for breakfast. They bring delicious Starbucks and I fry up eggs, bacon, biscuits, pancakes or whatever I have in the cupboard that day. We sit and talk and catch up on the last week and talk about how much my two year old nephew is growing. I get to hear all his new words and see his beautiful smile when he walks in the door and shouts, "Hi Auntie, Miha, Kevo!" I know what you are thinking, Better than Christmas, are you sure? Yes, and I'll tell you why. There's absolutely no stress involved. Just quality time with my family and the best part is there are 52 opportunities to have our little breakfast get togethers. If you don't have any family in town, start it with your closest friends. Just do it. You will make memories you will treasure forever, and it is a great way to spend your weekend mornings.

Daytime TV

I have to vent about daytime TV and how bad it can be. The other day I had the pleasure of staying home, and when I do that I catch up on all my shows I have Tivo'd during the week. I tend to get busy cleaning and will let the show finish and it will default back to whatever channel it was on. So, I'm cleaning and I hear Jerry Springer come on, but I am really busy cleaning, so I allow it to stay on until I can't stand it anymore and I have to run in there and start another one of my shows. Later on that day I saw Maury. Now years ago Maury wasn't that bad, but it seems like he gets worse every year. I just have to say, why do people still watch these? They are trash. My favorite thing to do is check out the audience. Watch Ellen, thank God for Ellen I love her, or Oprah and then watch Maury and look at the audience. Hmmmm I wonder who watches this stuff.

Customer Complaints-This is Only the Beginning

The other day I set out to visit a table with a complaint. I approach the table, "Hello, My name is Sara and I'm a manager here, how can I help you?"


"I found a piece of bacon in my salsa," she complains with her mouth full of food. "My husband and I were celebrating and I am so grossed out I can't even eat." She is still eating. I look at the plates and I notice the two of them have shared a meal. They have ribs, shrimp, veggies, and our famous "loaded" mashed potatoes. Now you don't have to eat at my restaurant to understand that "loaded" means piled high with cheese, parsley and bacon. Yes, bacon. As she is complaining the only thing she is eating is her loaded mashed potatoes covered in bacon. She is just too disgusted by the bacon to eat her ribs and shrimp. The only thing she can muster up the courage to eat is her bacon covered mashed potatoes! I try to explain to her that the bacon is kept above the salsa, and that they cut up the bacon fresh, so one piece could have easily fallen in, but she wouldn't hear it. So a stupid piece of bacon, which she liked anyways, cost me $20 in comps.

http://www.cafepress.com/ilovemymlm

Lesbian Legends II

And the drama continues...
So the other night when we went to Mayfest my friend swore to me that she would FINALLY spend some time with me and not bring her "friend" along. I wouldn't normally mind but her "friend" and I aren't exactly hitting it off. The whole time she was texting her and not paying any attention to what was going on around her. When the coast was clear, she headed down the street to find her. After telling me that she wouldn't come up to us before because I was there, you can imagine I was angry when she came back and brought her with. Maybe this was a failed attempt to get us to be friends, but it just made me more mad. I really needed this one night to clear the air so we could move on. I had a fun night, but deep down still hurting. This sucks. I know we will get through, because that's what best friends do, right?

Cake Confusion

So I have a little tradition that I make these homemade cakes for my boyfriend on his birthday. He make me the cutest little homemade cards all year long with little cartoon character versions of me and "the kids" as we call them. Our "kids" consist of my twelve year old cat, Simba and our recently adopted Boston Terrier, Miha. I can't draw very well, but I'm an alright cook. Last year I made him a lemon chiffon cake with strawberries as well as a pineppale upside down cake. He doesn't like chocolate, so strawberries are pretty and tasty.

This year I decided to make a very Strawberry cake. I worked on it for about three and a half hours. I hand dipped strawberries in melted white chocolate and hand shaved little white chocolate shavings all over the top in my attempt to make it pretty. I handmade the frosting from fresh strawberries and everything. A couple of problems here. One the frosting sagged a little big. So it looks a little drippy in places. The other is it turned out a little dry. Although, that hasn't stopped me from sneaking into the kitchen and eating the cake straight off the cake plate, I need to know what the secret is to make a cake moist. As I'm nearing my thirties I've learned that women can be amazing support systems for each other. Whether it is, how do I get my laundry to smell better or how do I save my marriage, women have this beautiful way of helping each other out. So please ladies, help me and my dry cakes.

Good Samaritans Still Exist

I have to tell you that there are still good people out there. After a long night of drinking and having a good time at Mayfest for my boyfriend's birthday, we got in the car and headed back across town to go home. I'm driving along the highway and suddenly my car starts pulling really hard. I start screaming, "Oh my God! Oh my God! I'm having a blowout! Oh my God."
Kevin, my boyfriend who is always pretty calm, "Are you sure?"
"Yes I'm sure! What do I do? Oh my God what do I do? Kevin!! There's nowhere to pull over!" I'm basically panicked now.
It happened at one of the worst spots. I was switching highways, so it was a long skinny road. I end up pulling over and we get out and start attempting to change the tire, but can not get the car to jack up. At this point I'm so scared I'm going to get a DUI if a cop decides to pull in behind to help us. I felt okay, but if I had to take a breathalyzer probably wouldn't have passed. I'm basically taking it out on Kevin at this point, "Kevin do you want me to get a DUI?" My boyfriend is not mechanically inclined, bless his little heart, but I have to admit I do get frustrated about it. I can't help it. I have three brothers and was raised by a very manly dad, I was taught men fix stuff.
"No baby, of course not," he replies.
"Well then get this thing jacked up," I say irritably.
We are on the verge of a fight and some guy in his early twenties pulls in behind us and says, "Need some help?"
"Oh thank you, yes!" I'm so happy someone has come to rescue us and stop my from choking my poor unsuspecting boyfriend. He gets the thing done in about five minutes. The whole time I am freaking out because there are cockroaches the size of small mice crawling all over the sidewalk and I am terrified. I tell him about three times, "You are a God send!"
"Oh, I wouldn't go that far," he says.
I just want to tell anyone who still does nice things for people, like opening the door for someone when their hands are full, letting someone go first in the grocery line when they don't have much and you do, picking something up for someone when they drop it, giving someone a ride when they run out of gas - YOU ARE AMAZING! I had to rescue some of my drunk friends on Cinco De Mayo and I was happy to do it. They were stranded for a few hours before they called me. We had them back on the road within thirty minutes. It felt good to know I was helping my friends and they felt like they could depend on me. I didn't do it expecting anything in return. I'm convinced Karma really does exist. So next time you see someone in a jam, just remember, next time that could be you!

Lesbian Legends

I just found out one of my closest friends has decided to do the gay thing for a while. She texts me this and my reaction was weird. I got angry! Do I dislike gay people, no. I have no problem with that. Am I in love with her? No, not that way. So, why was my reaction anger? I'm still pondering this myself. My reply was I feel like I've lost my best friend. First of all, I had a feeling something weird was going on. They were spending a lot of time together, but the first red flag was that she was lying about who she was with. Sometimes, she would confess. I lied to you, I was really hanging out with ______. Why would someone need to lie about hanging out with a friend? That's just weird. Then more recently, we went to a party and the two of them rode together and left together, but still my friend seemed so distant. Her "friend" was watching us like a hawk, which I thought was weird because they've only been friends a few months and we've been friends for a few years now.
Maybe I am a little jealous. How is she going to find time to spend with me when she's off doing here secret gay thing? Why did she hide it so long? I'm not judgemental in that way to my friends. I think that a friend is someone who loves you no matter what. I'm getting over the anger thing now, but today I feel something different - Hurt. I can't talk about to anyone because I want to protect her identity. I just had to get it off my chest. I'm hurt and lonely and I want my friend back. I just don't understand why I feel this way when I've seen her with guys and it's never bothered me. What makes this different?

Underwater Restaurant

Did you know that there's an underwater restaurant? I was looking for some pictures and accidentally came across these.

At first I thought these people were insane putting this little tube in the water for people to eat at. I can't even imagine running late for work but having to put my scuba gear on before I could go in.

Then I saw this beautiful picture and I got it. I want to go to this crazy insane tube in the water now.

I love this last picture the most. Does he have his arms crossed? Is he mad that his wife drug him to this underwater tube to eat dinner? I wonder if they serve fish. Becuase that would just feel weird to me. If you want to read more about it you can go here http://www.been-seen.com/article.cfm?id=10231. I just thought I would share.